Bonfire of the Vanities
Forever Shocked by the Stupidity and Privilege of the International Elite
It’s hard to focus on just one salacious bit of gossip for today’s newsletter. There are too many scandals. Perverts, idiots, and buffoons are everywhere. Let’s chat!
Epstein, the Smartest Man in the Room, Laughs From Hell
20,000 Epstein emails are the biggest news of the past couple of weeks. Prince Andrew and Fergie were de-crowned. Larry Summers is retiring from public life. Trump is getting pummeled by his former supporters for trying to bury his relationship with Epstein, even though it seems that he never participated in the most seriously problematic behavior.
The Epstein emails give us a glimpse of the excesses of the international super-wealthy. They truly believe that laws and morés that constrain our actions do not apply to them. Money buys personal planes and hair plugs. It is also a hall pass for pretty much any kind of behavior.
I’m also fascinated by Epstein himself. He collected secrets, which then became bargaining chips for more power and money. In his emails, we can see the traps that he laid for political leaders and CEOs, hoping that their missteps would become his next payday.
Some of his targets were easy prey, like Andrew and Fergie. Dumb and greedy, they were perfect marks for Epstein. Trump was more elusive. Epstein never got the hard dirt on him, even though he seriously tried to get some leverage over him.
In emails about Trump, we get the best assessment of Trump’s personality. After all, Epstein was probably the smartest guy in the room. Epstein was convinced that Trump was dumb and insane.
“I told everyone from day one. evil beyond belief, mad, ” Epstein wrote of Trump in March 2018. “he feels alone. and is nuts !!!”
Right now, Epstein is laughing loudly from his basement apartment in hell. The dashed-off thoughts of a pedophile are probably the best assessment of our President.
Trump’s critics actually give him too much credit for having a political agenda. Trump doesn’t give a shit about fascism or any political ideology. He wants people to salute him. He wants lots of gold things on the wall. He wants his enemies destroyed. He has one or two pet issues, like tariffs, but mostly he doesn’t give a shit about politics and policy. He’s in the White House for the glamour.
He’s also motivated by his plans to build up an even bigger pile of gold nuggets for his kids. The Trump family will be rich forever because of Trump’s low-energy presidency. I doubt any of them will run for office. That’s Vance’s next move. The Trump kids will perch on the gold nuggets and get more facelifts.
Frozen Faces and Ice Cream Scoop Boobs
Speaking of facelifts, let’s talk about Kris Jenner’s 70th birthday party.
Have you seen Kris Jenner’s latest facelift? Dr. Frankenstein rearranged her features so she looks younger than her daughters.
She had a big party for her 70th birthday to celebrate the new decade. The party was held at the Bezos mansion. Guests included Hollywood power players and rich dorks. Bill Gates, Beyonce, Mark Zuckerberg, Snoop Dogg, and Oprah drank champagne and had a small Ozempic meal of one green olive and a carrot stick.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle even showed up, and later caused a big splash because they insisted that the Kardashians delete their pictures from their Instagram feed.
The world is in the toilet, and we’re talking about the imbeciles at the Kardashian party.
But maybe we should be talking about the Kardashian party because it’s emblematic of the shallowness of the international elite. There is absolutely nothing interesting about any of those people. They are rich because of luck and a couple of good decisions. The origin story of the Kardashians’ billions was Kris Jenner’s decision to turn Kim’s sex tape into gold.
Authenticity
All that money. All that power. And in the end, it’s all being squandered by imbeciles on utter crap. At least the robber barons from the past used their money to build libraries and museums. Sure, those projects were also ego-trips — all philanthropy is narcissism to a certain extent — but those projects have had lasting value that has benefited millions.
And the more that we get to know the present-day elites through their splashy parties and exposed crimes, the more that we hate them. Diddy, anyone?
I want more people doing great things without the ego-trip, without the big budgets, without the Botox. We need new leaders, new idols, new priorities.
At the same time, I love the dirt. More Epstein memos are on their way. Can’t wait.
LINKS
Shopping: Loving the Black Friday sales on Everlane.
Travel: Two weeks ago, we visited Ian in Vermont. We roamed around Putney, Quechee, and Hanover, NH. Saw glass blowers at Simon Pearce, checked out Dartmouth, and ate good food.
Last Saturday, we went to Ohio to visit Steve’s family. Because we just finished binging Death by Lightning and because we’re a little geeky, we decided to check out Garfield’s mausoleum at Lake View Cemetery in Cleveland. While we were there, we visited Steve’s grandparents and other extended family at that cemetery. We also had a fabulous lunch in Little Italy. Great weekend with history and family.
I enjoyed your post.
You are on fire, Laura! Excellent newsletter.