The Weekend in Orlando
The Weekend in Orlando
Visiting Different Worlds With a Noon Cocktail Ain't Bad
With rolls of tattooed, hairy flesh spilling over inner tubes, families and young people were swept through a faux Hawaiian jungle on the fast moving current of a not-so-lazy river. I was there with them. And I had a marvelous time, thank you very much.
Volcano Bay, the water park where I alternated between floating on a tube and drinking Pina Coladas, was part of the massive Universal Studios Orlando. With 541 acres of rides, shows, and experiences, Universal pulls in 22 million customers every year. Visitors stroll down the streets of Hogsmead and Diagon Alley from Harry Potter, take 3D rides that put them in the middle of a chase between Potter and Voldemort, guzzle Butterbeer at English taverns (it’s gross).
We visited at Universal, because our neuro-spicy son turned 21. He might be able to build his own computer, but he’s still enjoys attractions like this. Which is actually delightful. He loved everything, and, unlike his older brother, is perfectly happy to hang out with his old parents. Walking the streets of fake Harry Potter land, he smiled at the Aspie girls walking down the streets in wizard robes and wands.
If we were didn’t have a son who still appreciated amusement parks, would we have been there? Absolutely not. We’re taking our preferred vacation in June to Italy to go wine tasting and visit the Uffizi gallery. Yet, we still had a great time riding rides and people watching.
This was our third trip to the two competing amusement parks — Disney and Universal Studios — in Orlando, FL. Roughly speaking, Disney tends to attract a younger audience, while Universal is for a slightly older group. From an outside perspective, they offer basically the same thing - an immersive experience in faux worlds with family-friendly conveniences.
Both parks have fake New York City, which is truly bizarre if you actually live twenty minutes from the real thing. They have various theme restaurants — couscous in a fake Moroccan restaurant and poke bowls in a fake Hawaiian restaurant. And they both are truly friendly to those with invisible disabilities.
When we arrived at Universal, we informed a staff person that we were traveling with a person with autism and epilepsy, and they gave us something called an Express Pass, which put us on the short line for every ride. When we first took the kids to Disney fifteen years ago, we had an even easier time getting on rides, but then rich people started renting disabled people to get that disability pass, so they had to create a combo rich person/disability pass.
In a world that is very cruel to families with differences, I can’t say how grateful that places like Universal recognize our struggles and try to make life easier. Kids with noise-cancelling headphones and people in wheelchairs waited on line with us. In the real world, we’re ignored, last on line, so this pass makes us feel special in a hostile world.
There might be 60,000 people at Universal on a typical day, but those folks aren’t typically from around here. They were bigger and more tattooed than New York-area professional types. Steve and I openly stared at their tats and wondered whether they would ever regret those cartoons permanently etched on their limbs. Ten years older than most of the visitors, we were in far better shape.
In fact, we got a great workout there by skipping the commuter busses and walking between the attractions. On the first day, our Fitbits said that we walked about 12 or 13 miles. By studying the maps, we found real food and didn’t touch a French fry once. We soaked up all the Vitamin D from the Florida sun and felt fabulous.
But most people aren’t walking all those miles and eating salads at the park. There’s a large gulf between the folks lining up for a Simpsons donut and the 2 million people who watch Stanley Tucci’s videos about his preferred flavor of San Pelligrino water. But, you know, I like both worlds. It’s great fun to toggle between being an urbane, cultured elite one day and a noon drinker in an inner tube the next.
Travel is the ultimate immersive experience. Last weekend, I traveled to a place that was designed to make me feel like I was in New York, while being around people who were totally not from around here. I did things that I normally don’t do. I got away from my computer and books and thoughts. Ian wants to go back in two years, when they open a Mario Bros ride.
In two months, Steve, Ian, and I are going to have an entirely different experience. We’ll be off to Italy on our first post-Covid European trip. I began packing my suitcase yesterday.
LINKS
More pictures of the trip here.
Have you ever clicked on an ad on social media? Guilty! "The targeted ads shown to another set of nearly 500 participants were pitching more expensive products from lower-quality vendors than identical products that showed up in a simple web search." New York Times
I find Twitter increasingly exhausting, so I enjoyed this piece: “What Was Twitter, Anyway? Whether the platform is dying or not, it’s time to reckon with how exactly it broke our brains.” New York Times
The Education Beat:
0% of 3d graders at Asbury Park are reading at grade level, NJ Education Report
Parents are too lazy to teach their (deplorable) values to their kids, so they "fob off parental responsibilities" on librarians and teachers. Joanne Jacobs, Alyssa Rosenberg in WaPo, more from Rosenberg on the SullyDish Podcast
Reading comprehension requires that students learn facts. They need context for the words.
The College Data You Probably Can’t Find, but Definitely Need, New York Times
Watching: Succession, Lucky Hank, Mandolorian