Stop Bullying Kate Middleton

My take from the beach

Dudes, I’m on vacation. I’m at Cancun with my family enjoying unlimited beverages and sun. And I’m choosing to spend the next hour writing about Kate Middleton, rather than day drinking on the beach chair. It’s a crazy world indeed.

So, some backstory. How did I, a serious policy and family writer with roots in Northern Ireland, become interested in the royal family? Age-related insomnia. Yeah, I turned 53, the hormones went weird, and I couldn’t sleep, so I started reading gossip blogs at 3am. I’ve written about them here and there. The tag “royal mess” takes you to the old stuff.

The Internet is exploding with gossip about the health issues and conspiracy theories surrounding King Charles and Kate Middleton, Princess Catherine of Wales. Since my insomnia never quite went away, I’ve been following this story and leaning into information from the sources that are usually right. Here’s my take on events.

In January, two of the senior royals in a much reduced royal family went into the hospital. Charles had an enlarged prostate that needed fixing. He was open about it and waved to the crowds going into and out of the hospital. But when the surgeons were in there, they discovered cancer.

Charles’ people were not open about what kind of cancer it is, but based on the devastated looks of everyone around him, I think it’s bad. I think he has pancreatic cancer.

Meanwhile, Kate goes into the hospital at the time, for what is described as “planned abdominal surgery. Her people say that she will be in the hospital for two weeks and then will recover until Easter. But that’s all they say.

That vague information lead to tons of questions: If this operation was planned, why was her calendar full of engagements that had to be cancelled? Why did she spend so long in the hospital and then need a five month recovery at home? That’s unusual. Why are there no pictures of her coming and going from the hospital? Why did Prince William cancel one important event at the last minute for “personal reasons?”

My guess is that she has Crohn’s disease and needed some very embarrassing procedures done to her gut and didn’t fancy having a colostomy bag on the front page of the Daily Mail. She was probably full of steroids, which made her face look fat. She needed to spend lots of time sleeping and healing, while assuring her young children that she wasn’t going to die.

When my son, Jonah, decided that he wasn’t ready to come into the world at 42 weeks, I went to the hospital. They tried to get labor going for 24 hours, which eventually resulted in an emergency c-section. During that c-section, my bladder was sliced from end to end (it was a teaching hospital). I then needed 8-hour reconstructive surgery.

I was a mess for months afterwards. I had a urine bag strapped to my thigh for a month. I was weak and in pain. I cannot imagine having to pose and wave for crowds in that condition. Yet, that is what is expected of Kate Middleton.

For months, the conspiracy theories regarding her health have been going rampant claiming that everything from cosmetic surgery to murder. Someone altered a photograph of her to show bruises and cuts and claimed that William was beating her. It was all pretty vile stuff.

How did things get so crazy? In one word. Meghan.

When Meghan and Harry left the royal family for greater fame and profit in California in 2000, they spent the following three years painting Harry’s family in the worst possible light. It sold books and got them contracts at first. Apparently things aren’t going so great out there, and now they want to come back to England, but that’s another story.

Meghan and Harry developed a cult of supporters, who call themselves the Sussex Squad or The Sugars. Rumors are that some of them are paid by Meghan’s PR agency. The Sussex Squad is dedicated to the destruction of the royal family. They make comparisons between Meghan and Princess Di, saying she is a saintly victim.

The Sussex Squad, paid or not, is relentless. It’s constant hate, day and night, on X, TikTok, reddit, and the comment section of every Instagram post. They illogically attack Charles for getting remarried, even though Meghan is on her second marriage. She notified her first husband that their marriage was over with a FedEx package with her rings.

They made rather vile comments about Prince William’s sexual proclivities and relationships with others. Is William having an affair? I haven’t gotten that story from a source that I trust yet, but it is interesting that those sources are being very quiet right now.

Now, Kate has her own supporters, with their own reddit groups, who also take things too far with their hate for Meghan. Some think that the Sussex children do not actually exist and are dolls. Okay, then.

Two households, both alike in dignity; In fair Verona, where we lay our scene; From ancient grudge break to new mutiny; Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

So, there’s a war of the roses taking place on social media with very different strategies. Meghan has used two of the world’s top PR companies. She first worked with Sunshine Sacks, which was managing her reputation even while she was still a working royal. They dumped her apparently, and now she works with Ari Emanuel’s agency in LA. She’s reportedly looking for a new British based agency to try to resurrect her reputation there. She’s less popular than Prince Andrew, which is quite a feat.

William and Kate have their staff in Kensington Palace to handle their PR and social media. They had to up their game with social media and public relations, in response to Meghan and Harry stuff. While they have a much better presence on Instagram and X, they still insist on the reserve of the old methods of royalty. They don’t divulge too much of their personal lives at all, even though, we commoners, would love it. I would seriously love to see what Kate’s kitchen looks like or her closet. Those pictures would break the Internet, but we’ll never see them. Too crass for them.

Can one still retain the old style royalty in the shallow world of online media? I think that Will and Kate could have retained some of their privacy and control over their image, if it wasn’t for the haters on the Internet. The Sussex Squad is strong.

I am not a public figure. I’m an overeducated mom, who writes newsletters on her family vacation. But I’ve had brief moments of online hatred in response to an article or participation in some local political event. I’ve been called a woke liberal AND a Trump Republican. After I wrote an article about autism, somebody told me that I should drown my son in a bathtub. I’ve been doxxed. I was accused of handing out COVID-covered flyers outside the high school.

Each crazy accusation is a punch to the gut. Unpaid local leaders tell me that also are always shocked and hurt, when they see lies on local blogs and Facebook pages, which filled the void when all the local newspapers died. That horror never goes away.

Me, who was one of the champions and pioneers of citizen journalism, kinda hates how it has panned out.

So, the demands to see “proof of life” became so deafening that Kate Middleton released a family photograph. Then the haters took it apart. Where was her wedding ring? Why is Prince Louis crossing his fingers? Why is she wearing skinny jeans? And wait, what’s that weird shadow by Charlotte’s sleeve?

The major news agencies picked up on the questions about photoshopping and pulled down the picture with a lot officially jargon and finger wagging. They were already annoyed that their own photographers didn’t take the picture, and that the picture was taken by Prince William.

Who amongst us has never made an image more pretty on our cellphones? Let he cast the first stone.

How much photoshopping was really done? Was it just part of the new photoediting software that uses AI to make a composite of a series of photographs all done at the same time? Or was this an old image of Kate pasted into a picture of her kids? Shrug. Who knows?

But this picture ended up causing more problems than solutions. There are rumors — from one source, not hearing it elsewhere — that Kate is done with all this nonsense and wants to quit this thankless job. Maybe.

Where am I on all this? Well, I do feel bad that Kate is sick and can’t heal privately. I’ve had serious surgery, so I know how it messes up your body and energy. I also can’t image the daily torture of public ridicule, hatred, and lies. I do think that Will and Kate are basically well-meaning dudes — a little stuffy and privileged perhaps — who want to do the right thing for the country and tradition. They are probably still stinging from Harry’s betrayal.

I think Will is shook. His dad is probably going to exit the stage way earlier than expected. He will have to take on a job with unimaginable responsibility and won’t be able to take two week vacations with his little family anymore. His wife is sick, and probably wanting to walk away from all this nonsense. He can’t trust anyone, even his own stupid brother.

It’s all so tragic. The British monarchy has become a job that nobody wants. It’s a job that brings castles and ponies, while destroying your soul.

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Okay all. There’s an icy drink and a husband waiting for me on the beach. Please ignore the many typos. I truly must run. Take care!